Killer Izaya
by Warfang
Summary: What happens when Mikado uses Izaya in a music video? Particularly, what does Izaya think?


Sorry, this wouldn't leave me alone, and I'm fairly certain that no video like this has ever been made. Does anyone still listen to Queen anymore, because I went to a concert that the sound alike to Ralph Mercury performed. Those that went to the original Queen concerts mentioned that he was very similar. Anyway, I hate songfics because there never seems to be the perfect way to meld the song in, so I wound up just cutting the lyrics (note- I don't own the lyrics or Queen). Also, I do not own Durarara! Notice: Thanks to Snow Leopard Pasha for pointing out an error concerning whose chatroom. Thanks!

On with the story!

Izaya skipped through another intersection in Ikebukuro, humming along with another tuneless song, wondering if he should go collect information from the gossipers or surf Kanra's private chat room.

Well, considering it was a school day and too early for the strict and honorable Mikado to be on the internet, Izaya wandered around.

Somehow, even with no plan in mind, his feet would bring him to any interesting developments. Such as his face on the big screen that usually showed adds or Live Performances.

Izaya stilled as he watched his captured image bob along to Killer Queen by Queen.

_She keeps Moet et Chandon  
>In a pretty cabinet<br>'Let them eat cake' she says  
>Just like Marie Antoinette<br>A built-in remedy  
>For Khrushchev and Kennedy<br>At anytime an invitation  
>You can't decline<em>

The clips from his everyday life, thankfully not doing anything illegal, blurred together with the song. Whoever had been stalking him had been doing so for the past few weeks it looked like.

But who had the resources to nail him, much less make a song out of him? And why to this song, of all songs?

Ah, there's the fight with Shizzu-chan from last month.

The chorus filtered through, nearly timed with the actions happening on the screen. Well, it happened close enough that humans enjoying the show wouldn't notice unless they were very observant, or paid close attention to detail.

_She's a Killer Queen  
>Gunpowder, Gelatine<br>Dynamite with a laser beam  
>Guaranteed to blow your mind<br>Anytime_

Izaya faintly wondered what Shizzu-chan must think of the music. But then again, it focused on a mysterious woman who played everyone, so the lack of regard to gender aside, Izaya found the tune sliding into his head.

The ending words echoed around the square.

_Recommended at the price  
>Insatiable in appetite<br>Wanna try?  
>You wanna try.<em>

People were clapping. Actually clapping, and then the screen cut to three very similar people to Izaya. Well, he had never seen Kida trying not to laugh before, but regardless, the three Raira Uniforms stood out.

"So, what inspired you to make this, Ryugamine-san?" The reported asked.

"Ah, that is, the festival was coming up, and I wanted to help the new CGI and photoshop club out, so I asked some friends to get clips of another friend of mine without him noticing. Orihara-san agreed to the candid filming, so it just rolled from there. Displaying the effects and timing were just something to pique the freshman's interest."

"And do you have new faces in the club?"

"Yes, five new faces. If we get ten people, then we can even have someone singular to monitor the club, instead of being grouped with others." Kida cut in.

"Actually, I like have several smaller clubs with one monitor." Mikado looked exhausted, as though he and Kida had been fighting over becoming a bigger club.

"And why is that?" The reporter smoothly cut in.

Wait a minute, where they being interviewed by Kasuka?

"Because that means we can raise money together, rely on each other, and in general, be a force to be reckoned with alongside the larger clubs." Mikado had that subtle glint in his eyes when he explained patiently to Kida why banding together with brother clubs would help the growing clubs.

Izaya felt a responding glint in his eyes. One day, he could make Mikado the ruling force behind the entire Japanese Government. That was the big plan after all.

And he would be one of Mikado's trusted advisors when that happened. Not just some member of Dollars that hustled away from other gangs and played Samaritan. He had built his information network from the ground, and he had just found his latest toy.

Tuning out the rest of Raira's Academy building IT club, Izaya skipped out of the square, humming

_Drop of a hat she's as willing as  
>Playful as a pussy cat<br>Then momentarily out of action  
>Temporarily out of gas<br>To absolutely drive you wild, wild  
>She's out to get you <em>

Epilogue

"So, Mikado, I remember you asking Kanra if it was okay to film her in a PM, but I must say, that publicity stunt was amazing."

Izaya lounged against the wall in Mikado's apartment, while the younger brunette poured tea for the both of them.

"Well, you must admit, seeing yourself unobservant to being watched will increase someone's paranoia streak. But having me stalked in return?"

"I stalked you only for the past two days."

"Yes, sending Shizuo-san that text to please climb a tall building next to the academy certainly created a fuss that the teachers hadn't seen in nearly- what? Five years?"

Izaya sat down on the floor. He made a mental note to have someone on his payroll to buy the entire house and plant people he trusted (played) to keep an eye on Mikado.

The younger boy calmly sipped his tea as Izaya enjoyed the oscillating fan.

"What happened to the air conditioner?"

"Learning how to work a computer and discover hackers does not teach one how to fix the broken air conditioner. Kida-kun leant me the fan from his storage."

"Ah."

Time passed, and Mikado worked on his homework as Izaya watched him from under half-closed eyes.

One day, Mikado would graduate and move back to Saitama, before finding a job somewhere in the world, leaving the troll behind with his boring life.

After all, even with Kida back, and Aoba in the club, Mikado could just as easily watch them both from across the internet.

Kida might prefer hiding Mikado from the harsh world, but Mikado wanted to keep evolving. And Izaya liked watching caterpillars turn into butterflies.

A/N: Originally, just a story about Mikado making a video about Izaya to Killer Queen by Queen, without Izaya finding out until the final product. Now it's dabbling in Izaya making Mikado something greater, such as a shadow emperor. I almost wish I had never learned what Mikado's name translated as, because now I want to slip it into every fanfic I make.


End file.
